Copyright © 2007
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By Arnold Williams Copyright © 2007
Please share your story on how you were able to work through loneliness in sobriety with us and as always if
you would like to remain anonymous please type anonymous in the your name field. You story will help others
find that they are not alone in recovery at most difficult time of loss.
you would like to remain anonymous please type anonymous in the your name field. You story will help others
find that they are not alone in recovery at most difficult time of loss.
Loneliness in the life of Recovery
by
Arnold Williams
I have learned a lot on how to work through loneliness in recovery by taking it one lonely day at a time. Even
now, I am still no master at it and nor do I choose to be, but living the life of recovery I choose not to run from
my feelings or the thought of being alone. Loneliness for me in recovery can bring the most of sadness.
Loneliness is a feeling and the definition is “cut off from others and or sad of being alone.” It is important to
realize that loneliness is a choice that we have with-in ourselves, but it is also a feeling. For me, even though I
lost my parents in recovery and most of all of my siblings to addictions, I realize after being alone in recovery
for some time it is what it is “Loneliness.” I know loneliness is a choice but sometimes it is not. I understand that
Isolation the definition “To set apart from others,” Is a choice.
Loneliness can just happen with out a choice and again isolation is the key to relapse and it is a choice to be
alone. I did choose to be powerless over alcohol and drugs and accepted it, for yes, my life was
unmanageable, but I did not realize I would find myself alone in recovery and I mean living alone. Outside of my
home I choose to fellowship, socialize, and not to isolate, but when I return home I have "lonely" waiting for me
behind the door.
Here are my suggestions to work through loneliness in recovery:
• Meditating with your Higher Power can bring comfort at times when boredom steps into play while feeling
lonely.
• Staying busy with phone conversations with sober friends and family. I would say by contacting your sponsor,
your sober friends in recovery, or family members and really let them know that you are feeling alone. This
should surly help out with the lonely blues, but remember…When the conversation ends the walls and your
space may still be very quiet, but at least the feeling of loneliness does not feel so much alone.
• Going to an AA, CA, or a NA meeting or alcoholics anonymous, cocaine anonymous, or narcotics anonymous
surly will help out, for at least you are not alone.
• Try a hobby such as fishing, writing, dancing, some type of a physical support, or even non-physical sport,
and then there are the movies, a play, even having coffee, or share your poetry. The idea is just getting out
and not being so alone.
• Try reading or even take a topic in an AA meeting or a NA, CA meeting. This will give you some time to do the
research and take you away from the lonely feeling.
• Further your education. This will give you study time and challenges to meet project deadlines in college or if
your goal is to finish your G.E.D or high school then make the contact because loneliness can also sprout to
even better things.
• Pets can be very helpful with one living in recovery alone. Imagine a cat or dog waiting patiently for you to
come home as they are excited to see you as they wag their tails. Then a gold fish will wiggle its way up to the
edge of the fish bowl for another fish flake of goldfish food, or a bird whistling chirping tunes of excitement. How
exciting can this be? I would say, “Very.”
• Surly, the first step…Acceptance… I accept that I am lonely and my life is quiet.
Remember, being powerless over people, places, and things… I would put the loneliness in the things to do
category.
Some other suggestions of working through loneliness, be aware, staying to busy can cause your cup to over
flow in other areas of your life, so please make sure your cup isn’t over flowing. Also, if you have a sponsor,
check in with him or her to let them know where you are at with loneliness. I know that my sponsor has been
very helpful for me.
Remember, my steps are just suggestions from my own experience and even I am still learning. Note: I have
cried many times alone and not alone in meetings of Alcoholic Anonymous dealing with this recovery feeling of
loneliness in recovery. I choose not to isolate from feeling lonely and I do not where a mask to cover it up with
another feeling. “Hello Loneliness.” Yes, I give thanks to God for letting me feel the true and sober feeling of
loneliness just for today.
by
Arnold Williams
I have learned a lot on how to work through loneliness in recovery by taking it one lonely day at a time. Even
now, I am still no master at it and nor do I choose to be, but living the life of recovery I choose not to run from
my feelings or the thought of being alone. Loneliness for me in recovery can bring the most of sadness.
Loneliness is a feeling and the definition is “cut off from others and or sad of being alone.” It is important to
realize that loneliness is a choice that we have with-in ourselves, but it is also a feeling. For me, even though I
lost my parents in recovery and most of all of my siblings to addictions, I realize after being alone in recovery
for some time it is what it is “Loneliness.” I know loneliness is a choice but sometimes it is not. I understand that
Isolation the definition “To set apart from others,” Is a choice.
Loneliness can just happen with out a choice and again isolation is the key to relapse and it is a choice to be
alone. I did choose to be powerless over alcohol and drugs and accepted it, for yes, my life was
unmanageable, but I did not realize I would find myself alone in recovery and I mean living alone. Outside of my
home I choose to fellowship, socialize, and not to isolate, but when I return home I have "lonely" waiting for me
behind the door.
Here are my suggestions to work through loneliness in recovery:
• Meditating with your Higher Power can bring comfort at times when boredom steps into play while feeling
lonely.
• Staying busy with phone conversations with sober friends and family. I would say by contacting your sponsor,
your sober friends in recovery, or family members and really let them know that you are feeling alone. This
should surly help out with the lonely blues, but remember…When the conversation ends the walls and your
space may still be very quiet, but at least the feeling of loneliness does not feel so much alone.
• Going to an AA, CA, or a NA meeting or alcoholics anonymous, cocaine anonymous, or narcotics anonymous
surly will help out, for at least you are not alone.
• Try a hobby such as fishing, writing, dancing, some type of a physical support, or even non-physical sport,
and then there are the movies, a play, even having coffee, or share your poetry. The idea is just getting out
and not being so alone.
• Try reading or even take a topic in an AA meeting or a NA, CA meeting. This will give you some time to do the
research and take you away from the lonely feeling.
• Further your education. This will give you study time and challenges to meet project deadlines in college or if
your goal is to finish your G.E.D or high school then make the contact because loneliness can also sprout to
even better things.
• Pets can be very helpful with one living in recovery alone. Imagine a cat or dog waiting patiently for you to
come home as they are excited to see you as they wag their tails. Then a gold fish will wiggle its way up to the
edge of the fish bowl for another fish flake of goldfish food, or a bird whistling chirping tunes of excitement. How
exciting can this be? I would say, “Very.”
• Surly, the first step…Acceptance… I accept that I am lonely and my life is quiet.
Remember, being powerless over people, places, and things… I would put the loneliness in the things to do
category.
Some other suggestions of working through loneliness, be aware, staying to busy can cause your cup to over
flow in other areas of your life, so please make sure your cup isn’t over flowing. Also, if you have a sponsor,
check in with him or her to let them know where you are at with loneliness. I know that my sponsor has been
very helpful for me.
Remember, my steps are just suggestions from my own experience and even I am still learning. Note: I have
cried many times alone and not alone in meetings of Alcoholic Anonymous dealing with this recovery feeling of
loneliness in recovery. I choose not to isolate from feeling lonely and I do not where a mask to cover it up with
another feeling. “Hello Loneliness.” Yes, I give thanks to God for letting me feel the true and sober feeling of
loneliness just for today.
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