Copyright © 2007
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by
Arnold Williams
Thanksgiving and Christmas is very emotional time for me as I touch and share my emotions
and feelings of grief. Grief is like marinating my broken heart with sorrow, and as I continue my
recovery journey the grief becomes more like a still pond of willow memories . My grief of
sobriety begin for me when my father had passed away around my third year of sobriety and I
sadly lost my mother over a year ago.
The beautiful memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas was a time when my father would
spend a week in the kitchen cooking and preparing Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. He was
always joyful with a smile upon his face during these holidays. At times, he would happily call me
into the kitchen where the smell of his home cooking warmed and soothed my hungry feelings of
just feeling loved. For I knew this was his way to say, "I love you, son." After my father passed
away I prayed for my mother to take on the Holiday tradition in the fear our family would not stay
together, but my mother was hiding an illness of her own, "Parkinson's disease," She did not
have the strength to cook, so we would spend our time at an "all you can eat restaurant. " Then
she passed away after her sufferings leaving me alone with a well of emotions and grief to pail
away from deep inside by sober body. I learned in recovery that my well of tears over-flowed the
loss of grief and sadness, but I am surly thankful that the pail of grieving tears I share and struggle
to pail away is not a pail of alcohol to share in despair.
After my mother's death, my siblings went upon their own ways and I found myself truly alone in
recovery, especially during the holidays. But in my loneliness, I find time to meditate and to be
thankful for the life I have with God for I know he is with me... In my mind, heart, and my soul.
So now, I realize how important the tradition of Thanksgiving was and is for me because I
did see my whole family together and I cherish those beautiful sober memories.
Being alone in recovery during these traditional holidays is like being alone on top of the
mountain feeling the cool breezy winds, while hearing the silence of peace then touching the
tears of loneliness which becomes my rain of nature that is so part of me as I whisper and inhale
the mist of spirituality, while I accept and surrender to the sober life of pain...for pain my mother
pushed birth upon me and pain I push grief to let her go.
So now, I know what life of recovery and being sober truly is to be. For me, it is to share the
happiness and the pain of life with-out running away and to accept the helping hands of those
whom feel emphatic and compassionate because in return those feelings of compassion and
empathy I receive I serve to give. Today, for I know that I am not alone during these most
difficult days of traditional holidays because my God has giving me a sponsor who's like a father
to me, a Pastor whom is my spiritual guidance, a church of spiritual family, sober friends who
are my fellow companions, a link to spirituality, the guidance to be free, to touch and share my
natural emotions and feelings, to be sincere to learn, and to grow the way God wants me to
be and that is to be soberly me.
Happy Sober Holidays and Thank you all!!
By Arnold Williams Copyright © 2007
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The Sober Traditional Holidays
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